Taken from a video entitled “Buxom Washerwoman Hath Vigorous Encounter With Stablehand”.

Do my eyes deceive me? Hath Venus been made mortal? My heart beateth with increasing fervour for ev’ry minute she is illuminated. O, were I this fair maiden’s undergarments. Naught would render us asunder!

That I could but spend the day caressing her sweet golden locks, listening to her melliflous laughter and tender sighs as she goeth about her washing. Her bosom did swell at 7:36 and my heart skipp’d a beat most merrily.

This fellow, however, giveth a rank and shambling performance. He is unworthy of his role; a drooling halfwit would provide a more convincing paramour.

– real_ivan_the_terrible, 1:23pm


@real_ivan_the_terrible Art thou mad? The wench resembeleth nothing more than a harpy; were I her guardian, I would take her to a remote mountain glade and turn her loose! Her face giveth great offence, her bovine groaning an affront to mine ear.

’Tis no surprise that this young fellow struggles to find adour with this pockmarked beast; any gentleman in command of his faculties would struggle.

Thy loins must be painted on. How answer you that, baboon?

– tychoKiller, 1:28pm


@tychoKiller Art thou head made of cloth, and full of turnips? Dost thou even behold the same scene as I? Dost thou tell deliberate falsehoods merely to provoke mine rage? Or dost thou, in fact, possess the mental acuity of a sponge?

Get thine eyes tested, I beseech you!

– real_ivan_the_terrible, 1:34pm


@real_ivan_the_terrible “the mental acuity of a sponge”. Bravo! An insult worthy of the noble sea cucumber.

– tychokiller, 1:36pm


@tychokiller get thee bent, I prithee.

– real_ivan_the_terrible, 1:38pm


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